Sunday, February 12, 2012

BOBBI KRISTINA BROWN RELEASED FROM THE HOSPITAL


(Picture courtesy of Getty)
Remembering Whitney Houston's Career

WHITNEY HOUSTON'S DAUGHTHER RUSHED TO THE HOSPITAL




Whitney Houston's daughter taken in ambulance

Published - Feb 12 2012 03:21PM EST

ANTHONY McCARTNEY, AP Entertainment Writer

FILE - In this Sept. 1, 2009 file photo, singer Whitney Houston, right, sings with her daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown during a performance on 'Good...

(ASSOCIATED PRESS)

FILE - In this Sept. 1, 2009 file photo, singer Whitney Houston, right, sings with her daughter Bobbi Kristina Brown during a performance on 'Good Morning America' in Central Park in New York. Whitney Houston, who reigned as pop music's queen until her majestic voice and regal image were ravaged by drug use, has died, Saturday, Feb. 11, 2012. She was 48. (AP Photo/Evan Agostini, File)

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Paramedics say they took Whitney Houston's daughter to a Los Angeles hospital Sunday morning for unspecified medical reasons.

The Beverly Hills Fire Department says Bobbi Kristina Brown was taken from the Beverly Hills Hilton around 10:30 a.m. Sunday, less than a day after her mother died in a room at the same hotel.

The 18-year-old's condition was not immediately known.

An email message sent to a representative of her father, Bobby Brown, was not immediately returned.

Coroner's officials received Whitney Houston's body early Sunday morning, but have not yet said when an autopsy will occur. Any cause of death determination will likely be delayed while they await toxicology results.

(Courtesy of the Associated Press)

(Jesus Christ! What's next y'all?!? As with the story of Bobbi Kristina's mother, Whitney Houston, we here at The Black Fist Blog will update this story as more news comes in)

Saturday, February 11, 2012

CRACK IS WHACK: WHITNEY HOUSTON DEAD AT 48








February 11, 2012 8:18 PM

Singer Whitney Houston dies at 48

Whitney Houston

Whitney Houston (Jakubaszek/Getty Images)

(AP)

LOS ANGELES - Whitney Houston, who ruled as pop music's queen until her majestic voice and regal image were ravaged by drug use, erratic behavior and a tumultuous marriage to singer Bobby Brown, has died. She was 48.

Houston's publicist, Kristen Foster, said Saturday that the singer had died, but the cause and the location of her death were unknown.

News of Houston's death came on the eve of music's biggest night — the Grammy Awards. It's a showcase where she once reigned, and her death was sure to case a heavy pall on Sunday's ceremony. Houston's longtime mentor Clive Davis was to hold his annual concert and dinner Saturday; it was unclear if it was going to go forward.

At her peak, Houston the golden girl of the music industry. From the middle 1980s to the late 1990s, she was one of the world's best-selling artists. She wowed audiences with effortless, powerful, and peerless vocals that were rooted in the black church but made palatable to the masses with a pop sheen.

Her success carried her beyond music to movies, where she starred in hits like "The Bodyguard" and "Waiting to Exhale."

She had the he perfect voice, and the perfect image: a gorgeous singer who had sex appeal but was never overtly sexual, who maintained perfect poise.

She influenced a generation of younger singers, from Christina Aguilera to Mariah Carey, who when she first came out sounded so much like Houston that many thought it was Houston.

But by the end of her career, Houston became a stunning cautionary tale of the toll of drug use. Her album sales plummeted and the hits stopped coming; her once serene image was shattered by a wild demeanor and bizarre public appearances. She confessed to abusing cocaine, marijuana and pills, and her once pristine voice became raspy and hoarse, unable to hit the high notes as she had during her prime.

"The biggest devil is me. I'm either my best friend or my worst enemy," Houston told ABC's Diane Sawyer in an infamous 2002 interview with then-husband Brown by her side.

It was a tragic fall for a superstar who was one of the top-selling artists in pop music history, with more than 55 million records sold in the United States alone.

She seemed to be born into greatness. She was the daughter of gospel singer Cissy Houston, the cousin of 1960s pop diva Dionne Warwick and the goddaughter of Aretha Franklin.

Houston first started singing in the church as a child. In her teens, she sang backup for Chaka Khan, Jermaine Jackson and others, in addition to modeling. It was around that time when music mogul Clive Davis first heard Houston perform.

"The time that I first saw her singing in her mother's act in a club ... it was such a stunning impact," Davis told "Good Morning America."

"To hear this young girl breathe such fire into this song. I mean, it really sent the proverbial tingles up my spine," he added.

Before long, the rest of the country would feel it, too. Houston made her album debut in 1985 with "Whitney Houston," which sold millions and spawned hit after hit. "Saving All My Love for You" brought her her first Grammy, for best female pop vocal. "How Will I Know," "You Give Good Love" and "The Greatest Love of All" also became hit singles.

Another multiplatinum album, "Whitney," came out in 1987 and included hits like "Where Do Broken Hearts Go" and "I Wanna Dance With Somebody."

The New York Times wrote that Houston "possesses one of her generation's most powerful gospel-trained voices, but she eschews many of the churchier mannerisms of her forerunners. She uses ornamental gospel phrasing only sparingly, and instead of projecting an earthy, tearful vulnerability, communicates cool self-assurance and strength, building pop ballads to majestic, sustained peaks of intensity."

Her decision not to follow the more soulful inflections of singers like Franklin drew criticism by some who saw her as playing down her black roots to go pop and reach white audiences. The criticism would become a constant refrain through much of her career. She was even booed during the "Soul Train Awards" in 1989.

"Sometimes it gets down to that, you know?" she told Katie Couric in 1996. "You're not black enough for them. I don't know. You're not R&B enough. You're very pop. The white audience has taken you away from them."

Some saw her 1992 marriage to former New Edition member and soul crooner Bobby Brown as an attempt to refute those critics. It seemed to be an odd union; she was seen as pop's pure princess while he had a bad-boy image, and already had children of his own. (The couple had a daughter, Bobbi Kristina, in 1993.) Over the years, he would be arrested several times, on charges ranging from DUI to failure to pay child support.

But Houston said their true personalities were not as far apart as people may have believed.

"When you love, you love. I mean, do you stop loving somebody because you have different images? You know, Bobby and I basically come from the same place," she told Rolling Stone in 1993. "You see somebody, and you deal with their image, that's their image. It's part of them, it's not the whole picture. I am not always in a sequined gown. I am nobody's angel. I can get down and dirty. I can get raunchy."

It would take several years, however, for the public to see that side of Houston. Her moving 1991 rendition of "The Star Spangled Banner" at the Super Bowl, amid the first Gulf War, set a new standard and once again reaffirmed her as America's sweetheart.

In 1992, she became a star in the acting world with "The Bodyguard." Despite mixed reviews, the story of a singer (Houston) guarded by a former Secret Service agent (Kevin Costner) was an international success.

It also gave her perhaps her most memorable hit: a searing, stunning rendition of Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You," which sat atop the charts for weeks. It was Grammy's record of the year and best female pop vocal, and the "Bodyguard" soundtrack was named album of the year.

She returned to the big screen in 1995-96 with "Waiting to Exhale" and "The Preacher's Wife." Both spawned soundtrack albums, and another hit studio album, "My Love Is Your Love," in 1998, brought her a Grammy for best female R&B vocal for the cut "It's Not Right But It's Okay."

But during these career and personal highs, Houston was using drugs. In an interview with Oprah Winfrey in 2010, she said by the time "The Preacher's Wife" was released, "(doing drugs) was an everyday thing. ... I would do my work, but after I did my work, for a whole year or two, it was every day. ... I wasn't happy by that point in time. I was losing myself."

In the interview, Houston blamed her rocky marriage to Brown, which included a charge of domestic abuse against Brown in 1993. They divorced in 2007.

Houston would go to rehab twice before she would declare herself drug-free to Winfrey in 2010. But in the interim, there were missed concert dates, a stop at an airport due to drugs, and public meltdowns.

She was so startlingly thin during a 2001 Michael Jackson tribute concert that rumors spread she had died the next day. Her crude behavior and jittery appearance on Brown's reality show, "Being Bobby Brown," was an example of her sad decline. Her Sawyer interview, where she declared "crack is whack," was often parodied. She dropped out of the spotlight for a few years.

Houston staged what seemed to be a successful comeback with the 2009 album "I Look To You." The album debuted on the top of the charts, and would eventually go platinum.

Things soon fell apart. A concert to promote the album on "Good Morning America" went awry as Houston's voice sounded ragged and off-key. She blamed an interview with Winfrey for straining her voice.

A world tour launched overseas, however, only confirmed suspicions that Houston had lost her treasured gift, as she failed to hit notes and left many fans unimpressed; some walked out. Canceled concert dates raised speculation that she may have been abusing drugs, but she denied those claims and said she was in great shape, blaming illness for cancellations.

(Courtesy of the Associated Press)

(As more details come in we here at The Black Fist Blog will update you on the cause of death for Whitney Houston. It is being rumored that reality star, porno star, and sometime singer Ray J, pictured above found Whitney Houston dead in her hotel room. The rumor was the two were back dating. Ray J is the younger brother of singer, Brandy Norwood. What a sad day. However, really, "Are you surprised that Whitney is gone"?)

**********************************************************************************

1st UPDATE 1:00 PM Feb 12, 2012: It is being reported that Whitney Houston died in the Beverly Hilton Hotel bathtub. It is also being reported that she was found by her female hairdresser after several knocks at the bathroom door went unanswered. News reports state that upon entering the bathroom, the hairdresser screamed upon finding Houston naked in the bathtub with her head completely submerged under water unconscious with her legs up. She was pulled up from under the water and CPR was administered. To no avail. Houston's body was taken by the L.A County Coroner, and an autopsy is scheduled for today.

We will continue to update you as this tragic story unfolds.


MAYOR MALLORY'S STREETCAR BREAKS GROUND FEB 17TH

The following story comes to us courtesy of Channel 5.

Apparently there was some sort of "special" meeting of Cincinnati City Council called on Friday February 10, 2012. by council members Charlie Winburn and the other guy. Black Fist sources deep within City Hall have brought back information that this so-called "special" meeting was nothing more than an inquisition style sideshow regarding Mayor Mark Mallory's initiative the "streetcar project". The same streetcar project that was fought against repeatedly, put on the ballot, and spearheaded by the president of local branch of the NAACP which resulted in the citizens of Cincinnati voting that the project move full steam ahead.

(Note: The president of the local branch of the NAACP and "the other guy" mentioned in this story are one in the same.)

It was also brought to our attention that the Mayor, being the smart cool hand Luke type poker playing brother that he is and being as cool & poised as he always is. Just sat back and allowed the two negro African-American council members to go on & on & on & on with their rhetorical "questioning" .... before dropping the big BOOM! on the both of them (Winburn & the other guy) by announcing the groundbreaking of the streetcar which is slated for February 17, 2012.

Mayor Mallory always has one last hoe card up his sleeve!
Way too funny!

I'll let the story and video do the rest of the talking.

After reading the story and viewing the video, let us know what you think. I sure have a lot more to say about this and about Cincinnati City Clowncil (ALL of them), but for now I wanna hear from you.

Please Click The Link Below:


City To Break Ground On Streetcar Next Week - Cincinnati News Story - WLWT Cincinnati

Friday, February 10, 2012

FRIDAY FLASHBACK TO THE PAST 24



Greetings, Love & Black Power Brothers & Sisters!

Do you know what today is? Yep! It's Friday! So that means it's time for our weekly series here on The Black Fist Blog: Friday Flashback To The Past! This week's edition in our series is Number 24! It is a request that came straight from one of our faithful readers & commenter. Based on this sistah's email, this sistah states she is a "dedicated sister who has a deep love for herself, her family, and the black community as a whole."

This week's song request came straight from the email of our dear sister... Sis. Fayanna. Sis. Fayanna requested to hear The Persuaders number one smash hit "Thin Line Between Love & Hate".

Sis. Fayanna also requested that this particular song goes out to her "man". She has stated to me in part, (and reprinted here by her permission) "that my man is committing domestic violence against me Sis. Nikki X, and I am tired of that shit"! If the nigger keeps on his ass will be on the other side of some love & hate ASAP and he will be recuperating back at his mammy's house!"

Well.... Alrighty.... Then....

At Sis. Fayanna's request, I bring to you ..... The Persuaders.


(The following background history of "The Mighty Persuaders" comes to us straight from our friends over at Wikipedia)


The Persuaders are a New York based R&B vocal group, with some fame in the 1970s, best known for their hit single, "Thin Line Between Love and Hate". This disc sold over one million copies, and received a gold disc awarded by the Recording Industry Association of America on 29 October 1971.

CAREER

The original members formed in New York in 1969, and were signed by Atlantic Records in 1971, with the original line- up of: Douglas "Smokey" Scott, Willie Holland, Thomas Hill, Sr, James Holland and Charles Stoghill.[2]

The Persuaders sound involved close harmony and a heavily-orchestrated soul and R&B approach, the trademark of the Poindexter brothers, Richard and Bobby, who produced most of the early 1970s hits. The Persuaders also recorded the original versions of songs later covered by other artists, most notably: "Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me" (from their Atlantic / Atco album of the same name), made a major hit by Gladys Knight & the Pips; "Some Guys Have All The Luck", covered by Robert Palmer, Rod Stewart[2] and by Maxi Priest; and "Thin Line Between Love and Hate", covered by The Pretenders,[2], R&B trio H-Town, and by the reggae group, Black Slate. The song's title and theme were also used for a 1996 Martin Lawrence film of the same name.

The Persuaders recorded an album on the Calla label (distributed by CBS Records) with Philadelphia based producers Baker-Harris-Young in 1976, entitled It's All About Love. The catalog number is Calla ZX-34802 and track listing was: "It's All About Love", "It's Love", "Count The Ways", "I Need Love", "The Quickest Way Out", "Who Will It Be Tonight", "Sure Shot (Gamblin' On A Sure Shot)", "Hey Sister I'm Your Brother (She's My Sister)", "Tryin' To Love Two Women" and "The Quickest Way Out" (instrumental).

The group brought out four albums in the 1970s. As former members trickled out and new members trickled in The Persuaders R&B legacy continues into the 21st century with new faces and now consists of Vincent (Vince) Ballard, Sylvester (Jay) Jones, Tmarvin Williams and Keith (Soul) Simmons.[3] The name The Persuaders is a legally registered trademark.




Damn that song was short, sweet, to the point, & for damn sure heavy!

That's what's up for this week brothers & sisters! It is definitely a "thin line between love & hate", and that's for sure!

We want to once again thank Sis. Fayanna for her heartfelt testimonial email and song request.
We here at The Black Fist Blog pray our dear sistah does not end up on the 6 o'clock news in handcuffs, shackles & being ushered into an awaiting police squad car (based on her actions in self-defense). We also pray that her "man" stops his "drunken bullshit & beatings" so he does not end up.... "laying in the hospital bandaged from feet to head in a state of shock, just that much from being dead. [Not knowing] "his woman would do that to him, he didn't think his girl had the nerve. [There he lays] .... I guess action speaks louder than words"! As the Mighty Persuaders just sang in their powerful song. Y'all just heard it!!! .....

In closing we once again ask all of you:

If you have a song you would like to hear on our weekly Friday Flashback To The Past just hit me up at: askgeneralnikkix@yahoo.com ~~ I will review all of your emails, and your song could be the next one to be featured!

Until Next Week!!!

YOU CAN BET YO' LAST MONEY, IT'S ALL GONNA BE A STONE GAS HONEY!!
IN PARTING WE WISH YOU ...LOVE, P
EACE & SOUL!!!



Dedicated to Soul Brother Number #1
Bro.
Don Cornelius September 27, 1936 -February 1, 2012
R.I.P

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A BLACK FIST NIGHT AT THE MOVIES HD EXCLUSIVE: SAFE HOUSE 2012 TRAILER







Greetings, Peace & Blessing Brothers & Sisters,

Today we are returning to our Black Fist Night At The Movies exclusives. Those of you who are long time readers of our website know that from time to time we like to bring you movie trailers that feature our beautiful black brothers & sisters. And sometimes (not often though) we bring you movies that seem to be just downright good entertainment (regardless of the color)!

(For example see our blog post featuring that last James Bond movie starring Daniel Craig titled: Quantum of Solace. That was a very good movie & it was the sequel to Casino Royale also Starring Daniel Craig. Two very good movies featured here.
Type in our search bar on the homepage: Quantum of Solace and Casino Royale for the trailers to both those movies)

Getting back to our love of movies is what we are doing today! So we are proud to bring you the latest movie trailer in high definition from a black man who makes us all proud to say "He is Ours"! Yes sir! Mr. Denzel Washington is Back! Doing what he does best ... being smooth, being intelligent, and of course... being beautifully black ;-()

Here is a synopsis of Bro. Washington's latest movie called Safe House:

When a CIA-operated safe house is targeted by a group of bad guys, The facility's house-sitter is tasked with the dangerous job of moving the criminal who is being hidden there to another secure location.

Safe House Starring Denzel Washington .....

NO ONE IS SAFE!

Coming February 10th Twenty-Twelve

Our Question Today Is: Will you go and see this sure to be a blockbuster thriller movie Safe House?
We want to hear from you in our comment section! I will tell you right now without hesitation brothers and sisters ..... I Will!!!

See You At The Movies!!!

BLACK POWER!!!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST BLACK WOMEN: THE FINAL CONFLICT





(The 1st picture is a burning heart on fire. The 2nd picture is the apartment Tiffany Lawson & her live-in domestic violence abusing boyfriend Kevin Ford Jr. shared on the day of the horrific incident. The 3rd picture is of Tiffany Lawson's burning smoldering clothes she frantically threw off her burning body before the EMT Unit arrived. The final picture is of Kevin Ford Jr. Tiffany's "man" & father of her baby entering a Cleveland Area Police vehicle under arrest, & apparently thinking that the shit he did is funny.)


In this, the fifth & final installment in our series: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST BLACK WOMEN.

I thought it appropriate that I'd bring to you a story straight out the headlines from our own black community right up north from us in Cleveland, Ohio. This story is called : MISSION TO KILL ~ MAN SETS WOMAN ON FIRE

The story you will read and the video you will see is beyond shocking! But this IS what's going on in our black communities every other day of the week behind closed doors and sometimes not so closed doors.

Domestic violence is a very serious matter in our community, as those of you who have so faithfully followed our series from the beginning know by now. Today, we are putting a face on the black man domestic violence negro abuser, his victim the black woman, and sadly their innocent child together. This bullshit has got to stop! But it NEVER will as long as the black negro man of African descent continues to blame everybody under the sun, moon, and stars (including his victim) for HIS fucked up-isms, faults, drunkenness, uncontrollable rages, insecurities, and bullshit!

Yes brothers & sisters it is a sad sad day when a person can not and/or is unwilling to take responsibility for his or her own actions as an adult. When the black woman is wrong, she is wrong but she is not 9 out of 10 chances gonna come home and start beating the shit out of her black man.

However, when the black man is wrong, 9 out of 10 chances he refuses to even admit it. No! He has to find someone else to blame and scapegoat! And when the black man has an internal problem with himself due to whatever reason (cause for real it really doesn't even matter when he puts our physical well-being & safety in peril & in jeopardy) he comes home and commences to beating the shit out of his black woman! And for real, that black woman 9 out of 10 chances is ALL his black ass has got! She's in his corner: right, wrong or indifferent most times ... But even that is NEVER enough for the black man!

Brothers, I love you. I do. But when you are dead wrong you are just dead wrong! ~ PERIOD!

Final Thoughts From General Nikki X: I feel proud and blessed to be able to bring this five-part series: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST BLACK WOMEN to you, the readers of The Black Fist Blog. It has educated me throughout the course of my research and writing, and hopefully it has educated and touched all of you. I know that we have gotten quite a few comments from our faithful readers both brothers and sisters regarding this subject. I chose not to answer or comment until the completion of the series. Now that we have come to the end. I will review and answer all of your comments. Also, Due to the high volume of emails and IMs (instant messages) I have received at: askgeneralnikkix@yahoo.com ~~ I feel there may be some follow-up blog entries accompanying this series. Trust me family, when I know what to do, how to do it, & when to do it ... So will all of you!

-- In Closing: I am proud to have been a facilitator of valuable, educational, and hopefully life-saving information. Please continue to feel free to post your comments and testimonials with your name or post anonymously, I do not care which one! As long as my beautiful black people can get the shit off their chest & feel a little better in the process. That is ALL that matters to me ... Not your name. --

I am extremely happy the following story posted below was picked up and carried nationwide with video. Because stories about our beautiful black women being brutalized and fucked up never reach the mainstream lame stream media ....

But this time .... Thank God it did!

(The story and video below comes to us courtesy of the AP wire, 19 Action News, and WorldStar HipHop. The words below are the words & emphasis/highlights of the AP & contributors to the story, and not the words of General Nikki X)

************************************************************************************

A mob from an Ohio Neighborhood was looking for Kevin Ford Jr. After he poured lighter fluid on his 31-year-old girlfriend Tiffany Lawson while she held their 18 month old son in her arms. Tiffany managed to throw her son out of a window right before her boyfriend set her on fire. .. Kevin immediately fled the scene. Lucky police found Kevin first.

Drenched in the flammable liquid Tiffany raced to an open second floor window closely followed by her boyfriend Kevin Ford Jr. Police said Lawson yelled out to a neighbor below who had heard her arguing with Ford and dropped her son to the ground. Seconds later she was set on fire by Ford.

Lawson managed to rip off her burning clothing and jumped out of the window of her home in Cleveland, Ohio. She broke her elbow and arm in the fall and suffered 1st degree burns to her arms and legs.

The toddler, Kevin Ford III, was uninjured. Both mother and son were taken to the Metro Health Medical Centre for treatment.

According to Chief Executive Officer Angel Morales of the CMHA Police Department the pair had been arguing over Tiffany’s refusal to give Kevin rent money for home they shared.

Ford was later arrested and is expected to be charged with attempted murder.

When Kevin was arrested police say he reeked of lighter fluid. He was around the corner visiting a friend, chopping it up like nothing ever happened. His defense for the crime?? He says he lost his temper…

Ladies, this is a definite reason not to deal with a man who makes you pay rent. He might set you on fire if you come up short...

Saturday, February 4, 2012

WHEN THE ABUSER BLAMES THE VICTIM: 99 PROBLEMS BUT I'M NOT ONE OF 'EM!

A FEW WORDS FROM BLACK FIST BLOG ADMINISTRATOR GENERAL NIKKI X:

Greetings
Brothers & Sisters,

In our fourth installment of our five-part series: DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AGAINST BLACK WOMEN.
We will take an in-depth look at "When The Abuser Blames The Victim". We are also subtitling it: "99 Problems But I'm Not One of 'Em"!

Why are we using that subtitle? Because the black man domestic violence abuser may have many problems in AmeriKKKa stemming from: Lack of Employment, Lack of Finances, Lack of Proper Housing, Family Problems ie,. Parental and/or Siblings, White Man Racial Prejudices, Alcoholism, Drugs, & "Sexual Addiction" (a deep-seeded sexual desire for OTHER women NOT his own), and Post-Traumatic Slavery Disorder.

In any event if those are some or all of the black man's problems, that black man has NO right to take it out on the black woman ... HIS black woman!

Below is an article (courtesy of our good friends at acadv.org which stands for: Alabama Coalition for Domestic Violence) chronically laying out from A-to-Z why the abusive domestic violence perpetrator blames his female victim on the other end of his abuse.

It is a very enlighten article. I have learned a lot myself, as I have all the way through our series thus far.

When you our faithful readers are done reading the article below, please take a final moment to look at & listen to the music video provided. It is from our dear Sister R&B recording artist Chrisette Michele. The song is called, "Blame It On Me" from her 2009 CD "Epiphany". What Sis. Chrisette has to say is powerfully moving & most definitely the anthem for black woman all over the diaspora who are fed-up with loving a black man who has done so many wicked ungodly hurtful things to her that she's willing to take the blame for everythang just as "long as it's over"!
(The lyrics to the song are provided so you don't miss a single word)

Of course brothers & sisters, commenting is open to any & everyone who wants to participate in our series discussion regarding the sick evil hurtful wickedness of domestic violence against the black woman.
We most definitely encourage the black man to discuss his feelings, thoughts, & experiences regarding this very serious subject matter. We encourage the black woman to continue sharing your feelings, experiences, and tales of horror living on the other end of your man's striking fist. We want to encourage the black woman to comment without fear of reprisal from that abusive negro she's laying with or from anyone else! That's why the option to post a comment "anonymously" is always there and free for you to use for your convenience sister.

So Until Next Time When We Conclude Our Five-Part Series With Installment Number 5....

Be Safe & Watch Out For Each Other!!!


BLACK POWER!!!
PEACE!!!

YOUR SISTA & FRIEND,

GENERAL NIKKI X


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Domestic violence is a pattern of controlling and coercive conduct that serves to deprive victims of safety and autonomy. Perpetrators believe they are entitled to power and control over their partners and perceive all interactions within relationships through a prism of compliance or disobedience. Perpetrators use abusive tactics to reinforce their rules and maintain absolute control over their victims.

Perpetrators come from all races, religions, socioeconomic classes, areas of the world, educational levels and occupations.

They often appear charming and attentive to outsiders, and even to their partners, at first. Many perpetrators are very good at disguising their abusive behavior to appear socially acceptable. Once they develop a relationship with a partner however, they become more and more abusive.

Characteristics
Domestic violence perpetrators:

  • seek control of the thoughts, beliefs and conduct of their partner.
  • restrict all of the victim's rights and freedoms
  • punish their partner for breaking their rules or challenging the perpetrator's authority
Men who batter:
  • minimize the seriousness of their violence
  • believe they are entitled control their partner
  • use anger, alcohol/drug use, and stress as excuses for their abusive behaviors
  • blame the victim for the violence
A batterer covers up his violence by denying, minimizing, and blaming the victim. He often convinces his partner that the abuse is less serious than it is, or that it is her fault. He may tell her that "if only" she had acted differently, he wouldn't have abused her. Sometimes he will say, "You made me do it."

Victims of abuse do not cause violence. The batterer is responsible for every act of abuse committed.

Domestic violence is a learned behavior. It is learned through:

  • observation.
  • experience.
  • culture.
  • family.
  • community (peer group, school, etc.).

Abuse is not caused by:

  • mental illness.
  • Personality disorders, mental illness, and other problems may compound domestic violence, but the abusive behavior must be addressed separately.
  • genetics.
  • alcohol and drugs.
  • Many men blame their violence on the effects of drug and alcohol use. Alcohol abuse is present in about 50 percent of battering relationships. Research shows that alcohol and other drug abuse is commonly a symptom of an abusive personality, not the cause. Men often blame their intoxication for the abuse, or use it as an excuse to use violence. Regardless, it is an excuse, not a cause. Taking away the alcohol, does not stop the abuse.

    Substance abuse must be treated before or in conjunction with domestic violence treatment programs.

  • out-of-control behavior.
  • anger.
  • stress.
  • behavior of the victim.
  • problems in the relationship.

A batterer abuses because he wants to, and thinks he has a "right" to his behavior. He may think he is superior to his partner and is entitled to use whatever means necessary to control her.

Some ways batterers deny and minimize their violence:

  • "I hit the wall, not her head."
  • "She bruises easily."
  • "She just fell down the steps."
  • "Her face got in the way of my fist."

Characteristics of a Potential Batterer:

  • Jealousy
  • Controlling behavior
  • Quick involvement
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Isolation of victim
  • Blames others for his problems
  • Blames others for his feelings
  • Hypersensitivity
  • Cruelty to animals or children
  • "Playful" use of force during sex
  • Verbal abuse
  • Rigid sex roles
  • Jekyll and Hyde type personality
  • History of past battering
  • Threats of violence
  • Breaking or striking objects
  • Any force during an argument
  • Objectification of women
  • Tight control over finances
  • Minimization of the violence
  • Manipulation through guilt
  • Extreme highs and lows
  • Expects her to follow his orders
  • Frightening rage
  • Use of physical force
  • Closed mindedness

Manipulation
Abusers often try to manipulate the "system" by:

  • Threatening to call Child Protective Services or the Department of Human Resources and making actual reports that his partner neglects or abuses the children.
  • Changing lawyers and delaying court hearings to increase his partner's financial hardship.
  • Telling everyone (friends, family, police, etc.) that she is "crazy" and making things up.
  • Using the threat of prosecution to get her to return to him.
  • Telling police she hit him, too.
  • Giving false information about the criminal justice system to confuse his partner or prevent her from acting on her own behalf.
  • Using children as leverage to get and control his victim.
Abusers may try to manipulate their partners, especially after a violent episode.

He may try to "win" her back in some of these ways:

  • Invoking sympathy from her, her family and friends.
  • Talking about his "difficult childhood".
  • Becoming overly charming, reminding her of the good times they've had.
  • Bringing romantic gifts, flowers, dinner.
  • Crying, begging for forgiveness.
  • Promising it will "never happen again."
  • Promising to get counseling, to change.
Abuse gets worse and more frequent over time.

Intervention
Perpetrator Intervention Programs For Abusers

Abusers can enter voluntarily or be court ordered to Perpetrator Intervention Programs. It is important to note that there are no guarantees that he will change his violent behavior. He is the only one that can make the decision--and commitment--to change.

If you have concerns about your relationship or your safety please call the toll free hotline 1-800-650-6522.

How do you know if he is really changing?

Positive signs include:

  • He has stopped being violent or threatening to you or others
  • He acknowledges that his abusive behavior is wrong
  • He understands that he does not have the right to control and dominate you
  • You don't feel afraid when you are with him.
  • He does not coerce or force you to have sex.
  • You can express anger toward him without feeling intimidated.
  • He does not make you feel responsible for his anger or frustration.
  • He respects your opinion even if he doesn't agree with it.
  • He respects your right to say "no."

Lies
Six Big Lies

If you hear your partner making these statements while he is in a treatment program for abusers, you should understand that he is lying to himself, and to you.

  • "I'm not the only one who needs counseling."
  • "I'm not as bad as a lot of other guys in there."
  • "As soon as I'm done with this program, I'll be cured."
  • "We need to stay together to work this out."
  • "If I weren't under so much stress, I wouldn't have such a short fuse."
  • "Now that I'm in this program, you have to be more understanding."

Counseling
Couples' Counseling does NOT work in violent relationships!

    Domestic violence is the sole responsibility of the abuser.
  • Couples' counseling works best when both people are truthful.
  • Individuals who are abusive to their partners minimize, deny and blame, and therefore are not truthful in counseling.
  • Couples resolve problems in counseling by talking about problems.
  • His abuse is not a couple problem, it is his problem. He needs to work on it in a specialized program for abusers.
    A victim who is being abused in a relationship is in a dangerous position in couple's counseling. If she tells the counselor about the abuse, she is likely to suffer more abuse when she gets home. If she does not tell, nothing can be accomplished.

If you think you will benefit from joint counseling, go AFTER he successfully completes a batterer's intervention program and is no longer violent.

Red Flags Of Abuse
You may be involved with a perpetrator if any of the following "red flags" exist in the relationship:

  • Quick involvement- the perpetrator pushes for a commitment or major event to occur very early in the relationship.
  • Isolation -the perpetrator begins asking you to spend less time with your friends and family and more time with him. You end up no longer maintaining close relationships with friends or family members.
  • Suggestions for change- the perpetrator has lots of suggestions on how you can improve your appearance, behavior etc. You begin to make changes solely based on these suggestions.
  • Controlling behaviors- the perpetrator influences your decisions on hobbies, activities, dress, friends, daily routines etc. You begin to make fewer and fewer decisions without the perpetrator's opinion or influence.
  • Information gathering and pop-ins - the perpetrator wants to know the specific details of your day and rarely leaves you alone when you are not with him, such as when you are at work or out with friends.
  • Any forms of abuse - the perpetrator may use name calling, intimidation, humiliation, shoving, pushing or other forms of abuse to get you to do whatever they want you to do.

These red flags may indicate that you are involved with a perpetrator of domestic violence. These red flags may occur early in the relationship and be explained by the perpetrator as caring or loving behaviors such as "I just check on you because I miss you" or "I just want what is best for you" or "I just want us to work on our relationship and spend more time together."




Lies Abusers Tell
Abusers often tell lies about their violence to themselves, their partners and society:

Friday, February 3, 2012

FRIDAY FLASHBACK TO THE PAST 23


(Picture above is Howard Johnson in 1982. Pictured below is Howard Johnson today in 2012.)


What's Up Brothers & Sisters! It's Friday! So It Time For Our Weekly Series: Friday Flashback To The Past Number 23!


Today's flashback will get'cha moving for sure! Remember the Bro. Howard Johnson? Well if you don't, after hearing this week's selection from Bro. Howard you just may have your memory refreshed!

This jam is from Howard Johnson's 1982 LP titled "Keeping Love New". The song is called "So Fine". I love this song. I still play it to this day. We used to skate at Rollerworld in Walnut Hills & U.S.A. Skate out in Tri-County offa this cut. Boy did we have fun back then! You know brothers & sisters, to just to be able to have fun without getting shot was a gift in itself! Ya' feel me?

These young people today are missing out on so much that they don't even realize what they are missing out on. Fun is suppose to be just that... FUN! We had it back in the day when Bro. Howard Johnson was on the scene getting down! And we hope you will have some fun today chilling, relaxing, listening, and grooving off this cut!

So on this, "The 30th Anniversary" of the recording of this song (Dang! It doesn't seem like it's been 30 years since we first heard this song, does it?)

Sit back (or get up) & Enjoy Howard Johnson singing "So Fine".




So, what's up? Did you dig it? LOL! We hope so! Let us hear from you brothers & sisters. We wanna know if the Bro. Howard Johnson brought back any memories for you?

By The Way:
This week's selection was somewhat of an "unspoken" joint selection. A new but faithful reader of our website happens to love this song just as much as I do. And I'm sure he had just as much fun listening & "reminiscing" to this song as I did.
So at this time, I'd like to send out a warm black power greeting & thanks to Bro. JT.

In Conclusion: Don't forget to email me about any future music suggestions or request you may have and want to see showcased right here on our weekly Friday Flashback To The Past Series.

Hit me up at: askgeneralnikkix@yahoo.com


See Ya' Next Week Brothers & Sisters When We Get Down To Number 24 In Our Weekly Series: Friday Flashback To The Past!

KEEP PEACE IN THE STREETS!!!
BLACK POWER!!!