In this the third installment in our five-part series: Domestic Violence Against Black Women. We are taking a look at just when "Enough" is in fact enough.
The article re-posted below is from the October 2011 edition of Heart & Soul Magazine.
(Heart & Soul is one of the leading premier magazines geared exclusively toward the health, wealth & love relationships of the black man & black woman)
What we wanted to do today is examine just when "this pattern of behavior" ie., domestic violence became acceptable in the black community & just how much is the black woman suppose to take before she finally stands up and declares, "Enough is Enough".
At the end of the article you will find a very important telephone number you can call 24 hours a day or night, if you or someone you know is a victim of domestic violence.
Sisters, it is not your fault that the black man you love hits you. It's not. A couple involved in an argument or verbal altercation should not allow it to escalate to a physical fight. Every couple goes through things, all couple have their disagreement however, it should NEVER get to a point where you black woman, are looking at your man (depending on how old he is) like he's the new Ike Turner or the new Chris Brown! Fuck that! We as black woman are strong, educated, beautiful, sexy, classy, we support you when you need us, we mother your black children, we take care of your castle and we love harder than any other woman on the face of the planet! With that being said, Come on black man, why can't you see that beating your woman's ass will NOT make you gain anything other than many many countless nights living in either 1 of 3 places:
1. You can reside in Heartbreak Hotel cause the woman done left your ass for good!
2. You can reside in Jail cause the woman done put your ass there for X amount years.
3. You can reside in Hell cause the woman has put your ass there when she fucked around and killed your black ass in her God-given right to self-defense.
Of course, we do not advocate for the number 3 alternative but it can come to pass (in self-defense) if you, black man don't pull it together & pull it together fast baby & keep your damn hands OFF the black woman & to yourself!
That black woman is to be loved & treasured -NOT- brutalized & terrorized! Period!!!
So, with that being said let's take a look at the article below & take to heart and soul what our good friends over at Heart & Soul Magazine so graciously shared with us regarding when "Enough is Enough".
We hope some sister out there takes comfort in our five-part series and finds the strength to do what needs to be done in her own love relationship with her black man. Of course, we here in The Black Fist Organization believe the ONLY true man on the planet for the black woman IS the black man. But when that black man has been trapped in the hells of Babylon for so long that he goes crazy, flips & loses his natural damn mind and commits the heinous evil vicious wicked act of domestic violence against his black woman, then that black woman has the God-given right to raise up on that black man, defend herself then leave his black ass alone!
On A More Positive Note Sister: If that black man can come to grips with his shit & acknowledge he is dead wrong for his brutality & viciousness against "You & The Most High God", then it is solely up to you black woman if you want to return to that black man to work it out and resume y'all love thang. Who am I to say leave the black muthafuckah alone for good if he's truly changed & has gotten the necessary mental & emotional help he needs to get his shit back in order to love, protect, honor, and do you right as his beautiful black Queen? I will never say what's right for any black woman & her black man in their own personal relationship because I am not a relationship expert by occupation. However, I don't have to be one to say that if the black man is fucking up & beating your ass black woman then the negro deserves whatever it is YOU feel he deserves the rectify the hurt & pain in your heart and the hurt & pain inflicted upon your body by his big strong brutal swinging fist & vicious hateful abusive words!
Yes. Words hurt! And words are a part of the wicked vicious cycle of domestic violence (abuse).
UNTIL NEXT TIME BEAUTIFUL BROTHERS & SISTERS...
LOVE YOURSELVES & EACH OTHER!!!
PEACE, BLESSING & BLACK LOVE TO ALL!!!
Enough is Enough: Domestic Violence is Not Love
After watching Jennifer Lopez play an abused wife in “Enough,” my high school friends and I made a pact to come forward if we ever found ourselves in a similar situation. So far, we haven’t had to make good on our promise. But unfortunately, many women aren’t so lucky.
One in four women and one in 13 men will experience domestic violence in her lifetime. And if that weren’t somber enough, an average of three women in America die as a result of domestic violence each day.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines domestic violence as “as a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner.” And abuse can come in many forms: physical, sexual, emotional, economic and psychological.
In the Black community, 29.2 percent of women and 23.3 percent of men have suffered partner violence, according to
But domestic violence does not discriminate. It can happen to anyone of any race, gender, religion, socioeconomic status and sexual orientation. No one is safe, and young women are especially vulnerable to the devastating effects of domestic violence. A recent
After the tragic death of University of Virginia lacrosse player Yeardley Love last year, I wondered if I would be able to recognize the signs of abuse in one of my friend’s relationships. On May 3, 2010, Love was found unresponsive in her apartment. Her ex-boyfriend, George Huguely, was later arrested and charged with first-degree murder in Love’s death.
Remember, real love is not abusive. A loving, healthy relationship makes you feel better about yourself, not worse. It builds you up. It doesn’t break you down. If you or someone you know is being abused, please know that help is available and that you are not alone. You can call the 24-hour National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit the website at thehotline.org.
L’Oreal Thompson is the assistant editor for Chesapeake Home + Living magazine, a staff writer for Harford and Howard magazines and a TV blogger for bthesite.com. She is addicted to cupcakes, shoes and all things purple. Follow her on Twitter @LOrealKT.